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Big League Stew - MLB - Yahoo! Sports
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C-a-C: 'Hey Mr. Woodchuck, is this bat made out of ... wood?"
Yes, I just threw a Full House reference out there — and one from the later years of the show, no less. My cover is blown. I'm actually a 19-year-old girl from Columbus, Ohio.
But that guy above? That's definitely Carlos Quentin of the White Sox. With a line of .293/35/96, he's probably the leading AL MVP candidate out of a group that includes Justin Morneau, Josh Hamilton, Francisco Rodriguez and Kevin Youkilis. He is also apparently fueled by chomping on maple.
So have at it, amateur Internet copywriters of the world. How should this caption read?
Follow the jump for winners from Monday's C-a-C:
'A-haha-haha-haa! Now who's up for Pudding Pops?'
1st — dai_kun.
Bill: "I really like the reception you people threw me ... You even have someone dressed as Fat Albert!"
Wake: "Bill, that's Bartolo Colon."
2nd — jacob.Tim: No really Bill - played for the Pirates.
Bill: That's ok Tim - I made Ghost Dad.
3rd — jlpamc81.
Needing someone old enough to greet Bill Cosby that actually remembered him, the Red Sox used a well-rested Tim Wakefield. Mike Timlin, having pitched the night before, was unavailable.
HM — Jer W.
Bill: Did I tell you about the time I had a television show, and did standup comedy and was relevant?
Tim: About the same time I spent a year without AARP paying half my checks.
ModernTube: Cincy weatherman makes his move on Rosie Red
Reason #2* I wish I would have paid attention more in my college meteorology course: Gaining the ability to pant over and chase after vaguely sexy female baseball mascots around a Cincinnati television studio (instead of here on the Internet). May God bless morning television personalities.
*#1, of course, being able to actually garner more than a C for the semester.
A big BLS head nod to Walkoff Walk for this clip, though I'd like to know why CTC is keeping such close tabs on Rosie Red, even after I declared her mine a few weeks ago.
The '08 Mariners are redefining the term 'cost inefficient'
Last week we had some fun with the Mariners and the supposed "Curse of the Rally Fries" an angry fan hexed upon them.
This week, let's talk something a little more substantial — like cold, hard cash and just how much M's management is flushing down the tubes during this awful season.
According to Geoff Baker of the Seattle Times, the record for most losses by a team that spent more than $100 million on payroll is 95 by the '03 Mets. With a payroll of $117 million that year, it cost The 'Ropolitans around $1.23 $1.77 million for each of their 66 wins.
But with a current record of 46-78 and an identical payroll of $117 million, Seattle is on pace for a 60-102 season. That wouldn't be a franchise low — the '80 Mariners were 59-103 — but each victory would cost around $1.95 million, making those '03 Mets look like bargain shoppers and leaving little room to do frivolous things like give away free French fries.
In comparison, the Nationals, the only team worse than the M's, only spent $54.9 million on this year's product and only have two less victories to show for it. Their projected cost-per-win is $963,000, which should have given them plenty of room to sign Aaron Crow.
On the flip side of teams making the most of their scratch, the $21.8 million Marlins are only looking at spending about $262,650 for each of the 83 victories they're currently on pace for. If the $43.8 million Rays reach 99 wins, they'd be paying around $442,242 per.
Coco Crisp takes advantage of new 'three balls for a walk' rule
The walk ultimately had no bearing on the game's result, but you can bet umpire Andy Fletcher might be getting a call from the league after it catches wind of this umpiring mishap.
As noticed by an observant YouTube user (click here for the video, while it lasts), Fletcher awarded Coco Crisp first base during Monday night's eighth inning after only three balls from Baltimore's Rocky Cherry. (Somewhere an official from that Missouri-Colorado "Fifth Down Game" just felt a phantom pain in his whistle hand.)
For what it's worth, only Crisp, who flipped his bat toward the dugout but then slightly paused as if he had made a mistake and the Red Sox announcers seemed to notice that something wasn't right. No one — from Cherry to Dave Trembley to the Baseball Reference box score page, which lists a six-pitch AB instead of five — noticed that one of baseball's most fundamental rules was being ignored.
Then again, considering Crisp's .308 OBP, maybe Fletcher was just cutting him a break.
White Sox must battle Twins, shaving cream in division race
Blowup dolls and all, Ozzie Guillen leaves little doubt that he allows a fratty atmosphere to reign in the White Sox clubhouse. No problems with that here because ballplayers will be boys and if A.J. Pierzynski wants to play PSP and Mark Buehrle wants to talk endless fantasy football before the game, who's to say that doesn't keep them loose?
However, Ozzie might want to revisit the team's fascination with cream pies made of Gillette before the team loses an important cog to Colgate.
From the Chicago Tribune's Hardball:
Backup catcher Toby Hall said his right shoulder was fine after teammate Jermaine Dye blocked his attempt at placing a shaving cream pie in his face during a post-game interview following the Sox's 13-5 win over Seattle.
Hall had his right shoulder wrapped in ice but assured reporters he didn't re-injure his shoulder, which he separated in spring training of 2007.
As an alternate trick, perhaps the Sox could employ that bucket-of-water "Welcome to Dallas Cowboys" gag that Pac-Man Jones used on Felix Jones during the first episode of Hard Knocks?***
*Yes, I just recommended that someone look toward Pac-Man Jones for advice.
**The White Sox should stop short of the garbage bag stuffed with singles, though.
An amazing fact about the Marlins, Dolphin Stadium and rain
As Tropical Storm Fay bears down upon Florida, here's a factoid about SoFla weather that you can use to shock and amaze your friends and co-workers today:
According to this MLB.com article, the Marlins have not had a game rained out at Dolphin Stadium since Sept. 5, 2004 and that was only because Hurricane Frances hit the Miami area something fierce.
That's hard for me to believe, especially since I sat through the driving tears of Papa Bear Halas on Feb. 4, 2007 as the sloppy Bears lost to the slightly-less-sloppy Colts in the first Super Bowl played in a rainstorm. After that, if you'd have asked me where the most MLB rainouts occurred, I would've bet my savings it was Dolphin Stadium in a walk.
But groundskeeper Alan Sigwardt, head of what MLB.com calls the best grounds crew in baseball, claims that the ever-changing South Florida weather patterns prevent the rain delays from turning into something more. While he has to oversee plenty of 90-second tarp coverings, it's rare the wrap doesn't come off before the end of the night to complete the game.
At any rate the Marlins don't have to worry about Fay threatening the four-year postponement-free streak. They begin a nine-game "Hey, it's mid-August, let's beat the traffic and save on supplies and get as far away as possible" road trip tonight in San Francisco.
BONUS FACTOID: Hurricane Frances was also responsible for the only doubleheader in Tropicana Field history, forcing the postponement of two Rays games against the Tigers.
A big BLS head nod goes to FishStripes for the tip.
UPDATE: The ever-vigiliant Fish Chunks points out that the Marlins had a game rained out earlier this year on May 24. Still an impressive run, though.
Top O' The Order: Greg Maddux traded again out of respect
Five quick links to start your day ... 1. This pending trade of Greg Maddux from the Padres to the Dodgers might just be the most convenient swap ever. Maddux doesn't need to leave the West Coast, he already knows a majority of his "new" teammates and because he played for the Dodgers in '06, I don't have to do a bad Photoshop job to imagine what he might look like in his new uniform.
One other thing, too: The power that Maddux holds over his general managers is amazing. Two years ago, Cubs' GM Jim Hendry sent him to Los Angeles for nothing more than Cesar Izturis as basically a favor to Mad Dog so he could be on a contender down the stretch. Now San Diego GM Kevin Towers is basically doing the same thing and within the division, no less.
I seriously can't wait until I'm 42 years old and everyone tries to make me as comfortable as possible in my infirm age. [Los Angeles Times]
2. Wallace Matthews believes the Yankees owe Maddux's new skip an apology. [Newsday]
3. Why did CC Sabathia go back to the mound in the ninth inning last night with the Brewers leading 9-2? Why did Ned Yost let him throw 130 pitches? Is it because there's no way he's returning to Milwaukee next year and the Brewers don't care what happens to his arm? That's a silly assumption, considering there's still October to think about, but still, what the heck is Yost doing? [Wrigleyville23]
4. Why the Cubs should send the White Sox a thank-you note. [View From The Bleachers]
5. One New York agency believes Michael Phelps "legacy" (and they've got some sort of convoluted system to define that) is bigger than the legacies of Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning. [CNBC]
Morning Juice: Fay or no Fay, Rays show they're here to stay
This and every weekday a.m. let's rise and shine together with the best hustle and bustle in the majors. Today's Roll Call starts on Florida's Gulf Coast, where semi-Hurricane Fay is bearing down on the Rays-Angels series, which is a possible playoff preview that few saw coming. Speaking of unseen, does anyone know where B.J. Upton's off to?Game of the Day: Rays 6, Angels 4
Cherubs rocked: Eric Hinske (bless you!) and Cliff Floyd go deep to help Our Rays improve to 5-2 overall and 4-0 inside the Dry Confines of the Trop Shop against the Angels. Remember, the records revert to 0-0 come playoff time.
Zero: Contracting a sure double into an embarrassing single, Upton is thrown out at second base after apparently assuming he had it standing up. It's "assuming" because Upton hustled his way past reporters without comment after not hustling again on bases. Upton inexplicably has been benched three times in the past two weeks for lollygagging. Hey, there's a pennant race on/hurricane on the way, buddy, so let's get moving.
Infinite sadness: Floyd, forced to speak for his team mate, says Upton is "hurting bad" and that the other Rays will make sure he never, ever, ever does this again. "It bothers me," Floyd adds. "You get choked up a little bit because it's like, ‘Man, we've got something real special here.' We don't need to be talking about this stuff."
Today is the greatest: It's funny that many assumed the Rays were overachieving in April, May and June, but if they've ever overachieved it's now, in the Dog Days of August with so many key components injured. Not funny ha-ha. Funny peculiar. Maybe a little funny ha-ha. Anyway, stop chuckling for an important announcement: Tonight's game is on — for now. Rays president Matt Silverman says he'll tell us by early afternoon if it ain't.
* * *
Feelin' Rundown (Monday's other brief briefs):
Brewers 9, Astros 3: CC Sabathia is SO Rick Sutcliffe '84 Cubs right now. 8-0 with a 1.60 ERA and five CGs in nine starts since coming over from the Indians. Sutcliffe won the NL Cy Young — taking all 24 first-place votes — in '84 after going 16-1 with a 2.69 ERA for the Cubs a mere 24 years ago. Sutcliffe also was fourth in MVP voting, and might have won that, too, were it not for Ryneberg. Sutcliffe, less famously, narrowly lost out to Ronald Reagan in the presidential election that November. He also would have got away with a big caper, were it not for some meddling kids and their talking dog.
Athletics 3, Twins 2:
Son of Moneyball! Kiiirk Saaaarlooos (right) comes out of semi-seclusion to
pitch 3 2/3 shutout innings after the Duke goes down with a hip injury.
Ziegler's now allowed ANOTHER run. The bloom is SO off the rose.
Pirates 5, Mets 2: "Bleepin' Steve Pearce," has been the refrain throughout Queens the past two Mondays. The Pirates' Pearce is batting .222 with 13 Ks overall but he's gone 4-for-10, which includes a pair of go-ahead hits, in recent history against the Metros.
Giants 5, Braves 0: Whenever he has a solid outing — which is about one in four — Barry Zito sounds afterward like a recovering addict who swears he's figured out the problem and won't ever let it happen again. "I got caught up with trying to make things happen," he said after seven shutout innings Monday. "You can't do that. Hitters make things happen." Boy, do they make things happen against the Zit.
Red Sox 6, Orioles 3: Two homers, a stolen base and no pee delays, for Jason Bay.
Tigers 8, Rangers 7: It seems Feldman from janitorial was outpitching Rogers from Roasters until Sheffield hit a two-run deep to key a four-run seventh. Sheffield got choked up ty ing Lou Gehrig and Fred McGriff on the career home run list. See? Someone else remembers Fred McGriff fondly/at all.
White Sox 13, Mariners 5: If you're into similarities, Jarrod Washburn and Mark Buehrle are both left-handers who wear No. 56 and pitched lousy in this ballgame. Buehrle breaks the mold by taking the victory in another WSox homerfest.
* * *
Photo of the Day: Hey, blame the other hand — I didn't throw it
Washburn wipes his face after Nick Swisher's tying homer swipes the slate clean in the second inning Monday night.
* * *
Fantasy Freaks
Zito (Giants) 7 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 3 K, Win
Bay (Red Sox) 3-5, 2 HR, 4 RBI, SB
Jon Lester (Red Sox) 7 IP, 4 H, ER, BB, 5 K, Win
CC (Brewers) 9 IP, 11 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, Win
Alexei Ramirez (Cuba) 2-4, HR, 4 RBI
* * *
Fantasy Flakes
Washburn (M's) 4 1/3 IP, 7 H, 8 ER, 2 BB, Loss
Buehrle (ChiSox) 5 2/3 IP. 11 H, 5 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, Win
Randy Wolf (Astros) 4 IP, 5 H, 6 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, Loss
Miguel Cabrera (Tigers) 0-5
* * *
Words of Mouth
"Bad, bad baseball." — Chipper Jones
C-a-C: 'A-haha-haha-haa! Now who's up for Pudding Pops?'
Bill Cosby threw out the first pitch before last Thursday's Red Sox game at Fenway and then apparently shared a few laughs with Tim Wakefield because they're the same age.
So have at it, amateur Internet copywriters of the world. How should this caption read?
Follow the jump for winners from last Thursday's C-a-C:
"You use stick'um for shaving cream, Youk?"
1st — dai_kun.
Boston's David Ortiz can only look in wonder, as Kevin Youkilis gets a "head-five" from Boston's secret waiver-wire pick-up, Thing Addams.
2nd — yogaflame.
Ortiz: Will the Red Sox make the postseason?
Youk's head: Ask again later
3rd — mdub84.
Wow! That shave is really the best a man can get!
Who ever said Jerry Manuel wasn't the argumentative type?
Jerry Manuel was ejected again today and if that seems like a headline you've read before, you aren't incorrect. Manuel has four heave-hos in 56 games since taking over for Willie Randolph in mid-June, a total Mets fans will gladly take given his 34-22 mark.
Manuel has always had a reputation as being a laidback guy, but if you count his ejection as bench coach on May 18, his getting tossed total is five, which ranks tops among baseball's managers not named Bobby Cox (who has six, according to The Left Field Corner, which posts a running log of MLB ejections.)
For those of you keeping score at home, a quick scanning of TLC's archives show that Ozzie Guillen, Bruce Bochy and Ron Gardenhire have four, Dave Trembley has three and Lou Piniella, Mike Scioscia, Joe Girardi, Ned Yost and Charlie Manuel all have two.
Tropical Storm Fay threatens Rays-Angels' battle of the titans
As the season winds down and the stakes increase, the Stew will take time each Monday and Friday to look at baseball's key series and the storylines held within.
1. Angels at Rays (M-W)
There's only one likely possible playoff matchup on this week's early schedule and there's a chance only a third of it will be played. Tonight's game between the two best teams in the American League is definitely on, but with the possibility of Fay affecting weather in Tampa, the rest of the series is in doubt. If the Angels have to flee for Atlanta after tonight's game, it's likely a doubleheader would be set for Sept. 1, a mutual offday for the teams.
Pitching matchup to watch: Might as well go for tonight's Jon Garland (11-7, 4.26) vs. Andy Sonnanstine (12-6, 4.35), seeing as how it's the only one set in stone.
2. A's at Twins (M-W)
Right now the Republicans are just waiting for the Twins to sign their check and finish their cigarettes so they can move into the Twin Cities for a two-week stretch. Hopefully, Morneau, Mauer et al. won't be too distracted by the daunting task of packing for a 14-game road trip to bolster their 44-22 record in the Dome.
Pitching matchup to watch: Justin Duchscherer (10-8, 2.59) takes the hill opposite Kevin Nick Blackburn (9-6, 3.53) tonight.
3. Astros at Brewers (M-W)
True story: Cecil Cooper has predicted a sweep for his 'Stros up at Miller Park. Also a true story: The Brewers have gone 11-4 to start the month of August, but have lost a half-game to the Cubs in the NL Central standings.
Pitching matchup to watch: Randy Wolf (8-10, 4.56) takes on CC Sabathia (13-8, 3.04) tonight in a nationally televised (ESPN2) battle of midseason pitching acquisitions.
4. Pirates at Cardinals (T-Th.)
If the Cardinals want to continue being the team that won't go away, they won't play down to Pittsburgh's level. However, they're only 6-6 against the Bucs this season, so if they want to make up ground on the Brewers (once Cecil's promise comes through) that'll have to improve.
Pitching matchup to watch: Jason Davis (1-2, 1.80) gets his third start of the season against Todd Wellemeyer (10-4, 3.79) on Wednesday.
5. Mariners at White Sox
If Chicagoans can't get enough of first-place teams feeding on last-place citizens, they can always attend Sox-Seattle on Wednesday afternoon, then take the El north to Wrigley Field for a Reds-Cubs nightcap.
Pitching matchup to watch: The not-traded Jarrod Washburn (5-12, 4.58 ERA) will make all the M's fans say "What are you still doing here?" when he drags his behind to the mound to take on the suddenly-resurgent Mark Buehrle (10-10, 3.77) tonight.
ModernTube: Let the moneymaking from Little Leaguers begin!
It's the middle of August, which you know can mean only one thing: It's time for the Little League World Series and all the griping "corporations are taking advantage of the world's children to make money!" columns that inevitably follow.
In the interest of kicking off the festivities, here's a recent commercial break from ESPN that illustrates perfectly that they're only playing baseball in Williamsport these days to sell sugared cereal, $5 footlongs and terrible pop music to our tykes.
(However, I do enjoy the part in the Subway commercial where the kids treat Jared and refuse his autograph like the creep he is.)
Does anyone out there actually watch the Little League World Series for more than 2 minutes at a time? Like poker, I think it's a fad that has long since passed.
(I gotta admit, though ... This new Little League game for the Wii looks pretty sweet — and way better than the NES oldie that got immediately traded in at FuncoLand 20 or so years ago.)
Unfortunately named boy to throw out first pitch at namesake
You might have already heard or read this, but a seven-year-old kid named Wrigley Fields — yes, Wrigley Fields — is going to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field before the Cubs-Phillies game on Aug. 29.
As the Associated Press reports, the kid's mother mentioned that her son was named after the freakin' ballpark in front of a Cubs official who in turn granted the kid the only benefit he will ever receive while going through life with a name that most Cubs fans usually reserve for their Labradors.
Look, I'm all for encouraging a child to be unique and different, but I'm pretty sure this only ensures that the kid named Espen is going to be the only person in the world who knows how Wrigley Fields truly feels.
If you want to name your kid something ridiculous, parents should be required to change their names to something equally silly. Thus, I'll be looking forward to the end-of-the-month moment when Killing and Strawberry Fields escort Wrigley out to the mound.
Jeff Kent opens mouth, proves again why people don't like him
When I first heard that Jeff Kent said that Vin Scully "talks too much," I was willing to play fair and give the Dodgers second baseman the benefit of the doubt.
See, I figured the comment was blown a little out of proportion by LA Times columnist T.J. Simers. Even though I love Simers' sensationalist take on all things SoCal sports, I figured he was just being T.J. and having some fun with Kent.
And after seeing it spread all over blogdome, I figured bloggers were running with it to get the cheap and easy clicks.
I should have known better.
In airing his frustration with Scully over comments made that Manny Ramirez's arrival has rejuvenated Kent's stat line, the potential Hall of Famer shows again why you'd rather wake up a sleeping wolverine for a hug than embrace Mr. Personality.
Kent's other remarks Re: Scully:
• "I've been here four years and I have never seen Vin Scully down here in the clubhouse. How does Vin Scully know me? How does Vin Scully know Derek Lowe?"
• "Everyone says I'm hitting now because some guy says so on TV?"
No, those aren't the most inflammatory comments in history — or anywhere close, actually — but read the entire Simers column for a further look at why the perpetually grumpy Kent is viewed with such indifference.
Then again, when you call the greatest baseball announcer alive today just "some guy" and question his preparation for games, I'm sure you're way past the point of caring how people see you in the first place.
A big BLS head nod to SBB for the tip.
ToTO: The Reds have a fever and the only prescription is ...
Five quick links to start your day ... 1. An astute blog reader on Reds Reporter points out that if you take the last names of Cincinnati's two promising rookie OFs — Chris Dickerson and Jay Bruce — you're only two letters away from forming the name of Walken's legendary SNL character Bruce "More Cowbell" Dickinson. Now all the Reds need are a new SS-2B tandem — Sean Gene and Fred Frenkle. [Reds Reporter]
2. So Brian Giles stays in San Diego and the Padres can't even reward him with a locked door in right field? If you missed last night's Phillies-Padres game on ESPN — if you did, I can't imagine why — Meech has great video of Mr. San Diego's misadventure.[The Fightins']
3. Yeah, Brett Favre is wearing a Jets jersey these days, I know. Still, a world in which Derek Jeter wears a uniform that doesn't belong to the Yankees is a world I wish not to live in. [New York Post]
4. A Mets-loving astronaut will take Shea Stadium's home plate into space this fall. Obligatory punchline: Hey, it's not like the Mets are going to use it anyway! [NYDN via Hot Foot]
5. Two Phillies fans suggest bringing nothing but positive vibes to Citizens Bank Ballpark upon their team's return on Tuesday night. [We Should Be GMs]
Coming Soon!
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